ZION'S BIRTH STORY

This was my fourth pregnancy, and the first time that we knew the gender of our baby, which was very exciting! It was also the first time that I tested positive for Group B Strep (which made things a bit more complicated with this labor and delivery).

My due date was December 10^th, 2016 but at 41 weeks I was still VERY pregnant! Gideon’s Birthday is on December 15^th so we wondered if they were going to have the same Birthday. Well, December 15^th came and went, and still no sign of labor! Then, on Saturday, December 17^th, around 6:45PM, I started doing some deep squats, in hopes to get labor going when, suddenly, my water broke (basically, it felt like I peed my pants). Robbie was in the middle of making dinner so we ate, got the kids in pajamas and packed up the van to drop them off at my Mom’s house. Once we got them all settled into bed we left for Ste. Genevieve Hospital.

It was a freezing cold winter night. In fact, the night prior there was a terrible ice storm that had cars stalled on the roads for hours. Highway 55 was shut down so if I would have gone into labor we wouldn’t have even been able to make it to Ste. Genevieve. I was thankful that my body held off going into labor until the next night – this night.

On the drive down my contractions picked up and started feeling deeper, but they were still random and inconsistent. Upon arrival at 12:00AM, the nurse checked me to discover that I was 2-3 cm dilated, 75% effaced. They hooked me up to a monitor and my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. I decided to sleep while I was still able. I wanted to let my body rest through the night in order to store up enough energy for labor.

I woke up at 5:00AM and started walking some laps around the hospital.  I did side lunges up the steps.  I even used the breast pump in hopes to get my contractions going. And while the contractions would start up and even feel pretty strong for a bit, they would just fizzle right back out with sporadic inconsistency. At 7:00AM, Dr. Lam came in to talk to me. He was getting concerned (because of the Group B Strep) that it had been 12 hours since my water broke and labor had not progressed. Although, it was later concluded that I had what is called a “Fore-bag of water” and that is what had broken, instead of my actual bag of water. I never had anything more than that initial leak. Which was very frustrating because, had I known this, I would have stayed home a little longer instead of going to the hospital and getting “stuck on the clock”. Of course, he advised that I should start pitocin and consider taking the antibiotic. But I really wanted to give my body a chance for labor to pick up on it’s own before using any kind of medical intervention. And I wanted to wait 24 hours before considering an antibiotic.

Fast-forward to 2:00PM (7 hours later)… still only 3 cm dilated! Dr. Lam came back to talk to me. While he respected my desire to do things naturally and let my body progress on it’s own, at this point, he strongly recommended that I start some Pitocin to help get the labor moving. Robbie and I prayed about it and we came to a place of peace about starting a low dose of Pitocin. Our biggest prayer was that I would be able to handle a natural delivery with pitocin on board. 

The nurse administered the pitocin at 3:00PM.  I laid in bed for the first hour and a half, and then I labored on the birthing ball.  After an hour, I got back in bed to let my body rest through the contractions. They were very strong but I was still able to manage them and work through the pain.  At 7:00PM I had only progressed to 4 cm. At this point, I was beginning to fight some discouragement. My Mom needed to leave to get back and take care of our 3 kids and I was so sad that she had to go. But, at the most perfect moment, one of our favorite nurses, Donna, came on the 7 o’clock shift! She walked in the room like an angel straight from heaven. She hugged me and started praying over me. I could not stop crying happy tears! Her presence was such a gift from Jesus. And Kay, our second nurse, was so awesome, as well. I felt so loved and well taken care of. We decided to go ahead and do one round of antibiotic, in hopes that I could get in the tub (because the antibiotic was required if I wanted to deliver in the water), but once Dr. Lam broke my water he discovered that there was way too much meconium so it was no longer a safe option to deliver in the water. Of course I felt disappointed about that, but I knew that God was in control so I began to mentally prepare myself for a delivery on land.

I want to interject a little back-story here. While I was pregnant, I had a friend who was also pregnant and delivered 5 months before me. And as I listened to her birth story, I had an anxiety attack. I had experienced 3 beautiful, successful, natural births, so I didn’t understand where this fear was coming from.  But, it gripped me. It was not concerning the labor itself, but the actual delivery – the pushing. God began to shine His light into my fearful heart and so clearly revealed some situations in my life where I had experienced abuse.  Situations that I didn’t even realize were abusive until I walked through the fear associated with this delivery. Why this particular delivery and not the previous 3, you ask?  Well, I don’t really know. I always dealt with a measure of fear when it came to pushing my babies out (who doesn’t really) but I just wasn’t aware that there was something behind it. My husband said to me, “Babe, I don’t understand. I have been there every time and I have seen how strong and how brave you were when you pushed those babies out. You didn’t seem scared at all.” “Maybe on the outside,” I said. “But on the inside I was freaking out! It’s like a roller coaster.” I told him. “You can ride a roller coaster one of two ways: (1) You can close your eyes tight and cringe your body the whole way in fear, or (2) You can open your eyes, throw your hands up in the air and fully embrace the ride!” I had always delivered with fear gripping me. This time, The Lord was calling me to embrace the pain and experience peace in the midst of it… to be ALL IN.  So, just as The Lord is faithful to do, He walked me through a beautiful process of healing and He brought a rock-solid peace to my heart concerning this delivery.

At 9:00PM I was still only 4 cm dilated, but once Dr. Lam broke my water, labor took off. I was determined to receive all the strength and grace from The Lord that I needed to deliver naturally. Since I was on pitocin, I decided to stay put on the bed and focus on working through the intensity of the contractions. At 10PM I was finally at 8cm. From that point forward, I didn’t have the doctor check me… I just relied on my body to tell me when it was time to push. And, to God be the glory, I was able to embrace the pain and to be 100% present as I welcomed Zion into the world at 10:42PM (with my “hands up in the air,” so to speak; fully abandoned)... It was healing. It was victorious. It was REDEEMING.

With all of my labors, each one has been a beautiful representation of the story that God was writing in my life during that particular season. So as I look back at this particular delivery, I see the story of a birth that didn’t make sense to me… Why did I have to be GBS positive? Why did my fore-bag of water have to break, causing me to be stuck at a hospital when I was 41 weeks pregnant with a labor that wouldn’t progress? Why didn’t God just answer my prayers and cause my labor to pick up naturally instead of needing the pitocin? Why was there so much meconium that prevented a water birth? Likewise, I have lived out a marriage that hasn’t made a whole lot of sense to me. My husband battled with an addiction that nearly destroyed our marriage… And so many times I wanted to ask a whole lot of “Why-questions!” But The Lord was so faithful, even through all of the pain.  And He took us through a process of healing and brought us to a place of redemption (which is why we chose the name Zion.)  So, amidst all of these questions about my birth, I could have chosen to believe that God was not in the midst of this labor and delivery. Oh, but that would have been the farthest from the truth. Instead, I kept saying, “Well Lord, You are in this so what is it that You are doing now?” He always sees past all of our circumstances through the lens of His redemption story! His strength and sovereignty were present the entire way and His plan of grace carried me through to the absolute best possible outcome, despite the circumstances. I had a healthy victorious birth and a beautiful healthy baby boy!

With my first baby, the camera died RIGHT before I pushed. My second and third were both water births, so you couldn’t actually see the baby emerge. But this time, Robbie was able to capture an incredible video of the delivery. I am so thankful for this video – A video that would not have been possible to fully capture if I had had a water birth. I will treasure this video forever.

Zion, holding your warm little body on my chest was the sweetest taste of God’s redemption power. You will always remind me of the unexpected healing that God brought to my heart through your delivery. He always has the happiest ending in mind. When we don’t see, He sees. What we don’t know, He knows.